The Struggle is Real

Hey all! Today am going to be telling you all about the last 6 months. As the title describes it has been “the struggle” both financially and mentally. I have had to really place God at the center of it all, and without Him I would not have made it to where I am now.

As of this January, due to financial issues that I won’t go to into detail about, I am currently taking off a year and a half off school to work so I can go back to school next fall. Now it’s actually very simple to just say, but the devistation that I went through this past year will be better understood if I go back and explain some of my life goals and struggles.

Growing up I did a lot of things I danced, played piano, sang and of course I went to school. While I was not bad at anything, the one thing that I could say definitively was “I am good a school.” I am very type A and I enjoy reading/studying/learning. And since there is no other interpretation of grades then what is in front of you it was a constant for me. In high school and I started stressing out about my grades, getting into college, and becoming a nurse as I feel called to. This stress led to me having anxiety about classes and having about 1 panic attack/semester about a project, test, or assignment. Through college I struggled with ways to cope and by the end of freshman year I learned that by planning out EVERYTHING I could relieve a lot of stress for myself and even trick myself into not procrastinating. I spent most the time I wasn’t at work studying or doing homework. I coped by trying to know everything and not letting anything slip through the cracks. I held myself to a very high standard and did not allow much time for relaxing during the school year. I did not think about where my identity was because I was pursuing my calling but I was consumed with my one goal and forgot to enjoy the journey there.

When I moved to Richmond and got involved in community here I realized that making time for friends is just as important as making time for my faith. I also realized how interconnected the two can be when in a Christian community. This past fall I was the most involved in a Christian community I have ever been, and my faith has grown immensely. While I still planned out my time (which for me is very relaxing) in my schedule I made time for friends, and community a priority. Despite the growth and community my world shattered when I found out I could not go back to school. I lost the one thing that I have ever been able to confidently say I was good at, and I was lost in where my identity was. The only thing that was sure in my life was God, my family, and my community in Chi Alpha.

I came back to Richmond this spring and my parents blessed me by agreeing to give me 3 months to find a job so I can stay in Richmond permanently. For 2 and a half months I searched and searched all the while making sure I was always in community by helping with set up for large group or any events we had, tabling and doing Discipleship group. I found nothing, I had many interviews none of which resulted in a job and all the while I was stubbornly holding on to staying in RVA because that is what I wanted. As time went on I realized that I may be going home and I cried and prayed and eventually accepted the possibility. I called old jobs from back home, thought about bible studies I would start so I could continue to grow in Christ and made plans for going home. While I still wanted to stay in Richmond I was finally at peace with whatever God had for me.

In mid February I went to Winter retreat (a Christian weekend retreat) and spent time in the prayer room. I asked God to give me peace about my situation, for a job, and for direction in where I was supposed to be right now. In the weeks leading up to retreat I had be praying and accepting that I may be going home and trusting God despite that. At retreat I recieved an answer about where I am called to be. Holy Spirit put on my heart that I am supposed to be in Richmond, and let me tell you I was thrilled. Despite having no job and little to no prospects, in that moment I experienced so much peace and joy about staying, and I trusted that God would work it out.

It was March, my final month and I had not found a job. I was preparing to move home mentally while still trusting that God put me here and called me here so it will work out. It was a funny balance of practicality and faith that could easily be mistaken as denial. I didn’t find a job until 1 week before I was supposed to go home. It was 2 days before I left for a missions trip and in those 2 days I was hired for 2 jobs. It was the miracle I was looking for and I am grateful for my jobs every day. 

The past six months have been the biggest financial struggle I have experienced in my short 20 years of life. Several situations were dropped in my lab that I truly was not prepared for, but in this time I have been able to find out what it truly means to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. I did not know how I was staying in richmond, just that I was. I am coming and sharing this from a point of gratefulness and because I hope my testimony can be used to encourage others, and provid a glimpse of the amazing power of Jesus Christ in every day circumstances. Faith in God is not in vain.

God Bless,

Jewelle

2017 Goals, Trips, and Growth

Happy New Year!

I hope your new year was amazing and safe! I really enjoyed spending time with my family and just relaxing. As I said in my last post this year is going to be so exciting! I am going on 3 or 4 trips and potentially staying in the city over the summer. I have so many goals for personal and spiritual growth etc so this post will be a bit lengthy. Please bear with me theres just so much I have to say!

This year my top goal is to further explore God’s word and get even better with my devotionals. I really improved in the regularity of my devotions in 2016 and I want to continue on that path in 2017. I have really enjoyed the stregnthening of my relationship with God and how through that I have been able to develop better relationships with others. I want to read the book: Celebration of discipline by Richard Foster, it explores different topics that I am interested in and I want to delve into one chapter a month. I also plan to read the bible this year all the way through. I am doing a plan on YouVersion and I am actually sticking to it! My other goal is to pray about every decision I make. I often make decisions without really praying about it beforehand. It has worked out thus far but it is not a habit I would like to continue. I want to focus my eyes on God more, so one big way I plan to do so is pray (and fast in some cases) before deciding and truly seeking God’s will in everything.

In January my home church has a month of consecration, and my Chi Alpha (XA; the ministry I am a part of at school) church does Lent (which is the 40 days leading up to Easter). I have never done Lent (since my home church does January consecration) but I plan to do both this year! For each I plan to incorporate fasting, I have been really interested in it and I would like to see how God can work further in my life through fasting. Last year I gave up meals before 11am, but his year I think I will give a specific day a week to fasting. 

So finally the “exciting things” I hinted at in my last blog! I am going to Houston, Texas, and Mexico this year! Every 4 years Chi Alpha has a national conference about missions and it is happening in Houston, Texas this time! I will be flying out and attending the 3 day conference. I am so excited, there will be missionaries from all over the world and seminars and we will get to hear several missionaries stories. I have been feeling a pull towards missions (especially this semester since that was one of the big focus’ at XA) I have always had that in the back of my mind but it just became much more real this year. Mexico is happening over spring break and I can not be more excited to help the people there. We will be working with young adults there and also helping a church with whatever they need. I am still fundraising for it but I trust that God will provide the funds I need to get there:) The other trips I will be taking are much shorter, one will be our XA Winter Retreat (a weekend trip), and then hopefully I will be able to do SICM (a week long trip) a leadership retreat that happens every summer for XA leaders/potential leaders. I am praying about whether God wants me to apply to be a leader in XA for next year, I would really like to but I want to make sure it is something God truly wants me to do.

So that is going to be my jam packed 2017!! And that is just spiritual goals! I will make a separate post about other goals but the main priorities are here.

I hope you have considered how you want to grow closer to God this coming year, I would love to hear about it! Please comment below and tell me about your spiritual and other goals!

God Bless, and Happy New Year!

Jewelle

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas all! I know, I know, it has been a long time since I posted but in my defense it seems like yesterday when I sat down and wrote my last blog. Although my devo posts stopped my personal devotions I assure you did not. This semester has been a great season of spiritual growth for me. So many exciting things are happening that I am going to have to have a separate post for them all! I really took time to focus and give time to people who really matter. Friends and family. For me my friends at school are my family. I have been able to connect with my roommates and strengthen relationships with my small group leaders who are AMAZING, and have been a tremendous blessing in my life. So I am sorry that I haven’t posted this semester but I am not sorry about the time I put into the wonderful people around me. That being said plan to do better this semester. My starting goal is 1 post every 2 weeks, and also I will finish typing up the Proverbs 31 series don’t worry I haven’t forgotten.

I always love the New Year, it means lots of things; seeing family; re-evaluated goals; and consecration which I my favorite time of the year (I will expound more later).  I am still trying to identify my goals specifically but generally I want to improve my devotional life further, simplify my life, and keep up with my blog. I hope all of my readers enjoyed this update, I heard from a reliable source that my posts were missed 😉 I missed posting and I will make a bigger effort to prioritize it this coming year!

God Bless! Merry Christmas!!

 

Digging Deeper Part 5 She Takes Care of Her Temple

Proverbs 31:17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.

Proverbs 31:22 She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.

These verses tell me that she takes care of herself inside and out. Outwardly she adorns herself with beautiful garments she has made and inwardly she “makes herself strong.” That can be seen 2 ways (1) she makes herself strong through taking care of her physical body,  and(2) through the renewal of your mind in God’s word. I thing it is a bit of both.

According to 1 Cor 6:19-20 Our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. So we are not only taking care of ourselves we are also taking care of where God LIVES in us. This should make us serious about caring for our temple if not for our own sake but simply out of respect for the Holy Spirit. I believe that an important part of caring for your temple is in what your eat and drink. Eating well is the best way to keep your temple (body) healthy and strong. We are also to dress with respect, modesty, and self-control (1 Tim 2:9-10). We are to show ourselves as humble servants of Christ. Presenting ourselves (and our body) as living sacrifices (Rom 12:1-2) in a way that glorifies God. This is a form of worship to God.That is how important it is God considers our presentation of our bodies as a living sacrifice (or being humble) worship. This requires the continual renewing of our minds through reading God’s word daily. To glorify God is our purpose in having earthly bodies (Phil 1:20), and we must be careful in what we do speak and say.

 

 

Digging Deeper Part 4 Dilligent

Proverbs 31:15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.

Proverbs 31:18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable Her lamp does not go out at night.

Proverbs 31:27 Sh looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

So far we have seen that this woman doe not complain, and she is good with money. Today we see her diligence in taking care of those God has placed in her life. To me diligence is pretty simple to understand but difficult to apply so this post will be short.

As followers of Christ we are to “be steadfast, immovable, and always abounding in the work of the Lord” (1 Cor 15:58). We are to be constantly in pursuit of godliness. We are to do everything as unto the Lord (Col 3:23-24). Always actively pursing righteousness. We are NOT by any means saved though works, Ephesians 2:8-9 makes that very clear. However true faith brings about works for “faith without works is dead” (James 2:20).  We must be persistent in striving to please God. We show our love for God though obeying his word (1John 5:3).

This was a very short devotion I know but my personal devotion on this was not long either. Most of these sections take me several days to cover all of the verses, this one took only one day. So the next one should be longer! I hope this short devotion has given you insight into the character of God.

Are you diligent in your pursuit of Christ? Where do you need to work? Leave me comment about it!

Be Blessed!

Jewelle

Digging Deeper Part 3 Money

Proverbs 31:14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.

Proverbs 31:16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard

Proverbs 31:18 She perceives that her merchandise if profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.

In the verses above we see a an industrious and frugal woman. As I said in this post, getting food from ships could be viewed and a method to save money for her household, and she is very profitable in all of her endeavors. She sells things she has made, she has land that she works. This proverbs 31 woman is amazing! In her everyday life she applies principles presented throughout the bible. We will examine them today.

Frugality/Money management.

So what does the bible say about how we should feel about money?

The first thing for me at least to remember is that according to 1 Timothy 6:10, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. So although it is a tool that we need in order to survive and help others, money and the pursuit of money must not become a God to us. Now as a college student I know that it can be difficult to not focus on making money, but just be sure in your pursuit to survive, you focus is always on how you can use what God has provided you to work for his kingdom. Love of money can lead to greed, discontent, and loss of relationships. Money will not satisfy you (Ecc 5:10). It will not make you happy. Often people who have excessive amounts of money do not have great relationships with their families. They are so focused on the money they are making or the money they have made that their family falls by the wayside. Now keep in mind i said often. It is not necessarily a bad thing to have a lot of money. What matters is what you do with it. God wants us to help those who are less fortunate. It is better to give than to receive (Acts 20:3-5). As Christians we are to be generous. Proverbs 19:17 says “Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.”

Next the money you get must be earned honestly (Prov 13:11). This goes along with  the 8th commandment “You shall not steal.” Money earned dishonestly is theft. Another form of theft is not tithing. In Malachi 3:8-9 God is angry with the Israelites because they have robbed him! They constantly turn from him and do not contribute to the church. They were failing to honor and worship God fully as he deserves. Since we Fall under the NT Law we are no longer required to make animal sacrifices. However we are to give as we are led to give (2Cor 8:9). God knows our hearts. So whatever we give whether it is $5 or $50, God knows why we are giving it. I personally strive for 10% of whatever I get. Often when during the school year when money is tight I don always meet that, but since the Lord knows my heart I can rest in the knowledge that he still acknowledges that I am worshiping him in that way.

Finally debt. The elephant in the room and I feel almost guilty writing about it considering the student debt I am accumulating and will accumulate in the coming years. However the bible speaks on it so I must aswell. Romans 13:8 says it simply “Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.” Up until I went to school I was great at this. And I keep my debt with the exception of student loans to a minimum. 90% of the time when I make a purchase on my credit card the money is almost immediately payed off via my debit card. Debt is like a shackle. It ties you down and limits your financial movement. I plan to pay off my debt as soon as possible. When I get to that point I will tell you my plans and progress, but I wont be there for several years.

I hope this devotion of Money was helpful and provided you some insight to the character of our Lord. Do you tithe? Do you have debt? How are you actively pursing God with your money? Please leave a comment and tell me!

Be Blessed!

Jewelle

Biking Day 1

So I think if I have to post my workout then I will do better at actually biking twice a week soooo here is my workout for today it was 30 minutes in the hot sun it’s ~85 degrees out and super sunny but I powered through. I need to drink more water before I go out in the sun in the future though. Alright well I am going to drink another green drink and take a magnesium bath to prevent soreness! I hope this encourages you to work out more! What’s you fitness goal for this month? I would love to hear about it! 

Be blessed!

Jewelle

Personal Standards Thus far

My goal is to adjust my world view by first changing how I act and what I put into my mind and on my body. My number one change is everything social media. From Pinterest to Facebook. I have been going though slowly but surely unliking pins that do not glorify God that I have pinned on my boards. I have been unfollowing people on twitter and Instagram in an effort to clean up my feed. If I do not know someone personally, or support their message then I have been unfollowing people. I keep going though and purging with stricter personal standards. My goal is to have a clear news feed that shows myself and others who I serve. Another area I am working on is regular media like movies and TV. I have lots of favorite shows that do NOT glorify God. This is a very difficult area for me because I only really watch Netflix or Hulu etc. I am not saying that I will only watch pg movies from now on. I am just making a conscious effort to modulate and really consider what I watch. Books for me are a weird area because actual books that I read are usually beneficial however I read lots of FanFictions and books on watt pad that need to be examined like I do with movies and TV. Finally my dress. This is an area that God has been convicting me about a lot recently. I believe I am being led to wear dresses and skirts all of the time more ( I actually have been wearing mainly skirts this summer), I believe God is calling me to re-examine my standards for dress. All in all I really do not know what my standards are going to settle on, but I do know that I have been asking myself “Does this ______ honor God?” and “Does this ________ show others who I serve?” These are my guidelines and as I spend more time with God I believe he will show me whether it does or does not. I encourage you when setting your personal standards for things to ask the same questions yourself, and PRAY! Matthew 7:7 says that if we ask we will get answers and if we seek we will find. If you ask God will guide you to the correct answer.

July Goals: Spiritual, Dietary and Exercise!!

Hey All!

So I love setting monthly goals. Its a great way to make changes in your life. I actually do much better focusing month to month than yearly. I often lose focus or get distracted from whatever it was I was so focused on. So I have slowly learned to keep a short list of long term goals. That being said, I have decided to set one goal for every aspect of my life each month. I am hoping it will keep me accountable and make progress on the things that are important to me.

Spiritual: So every goal I have is an effort to improve my walk with God, but in different ways. Obviously as a Christian every aspect of my life and decisions should be effected. So that is my goal but I do have a spiritual focus for this month. This month is the music I listen to. My entire life I have loved music. If you know me you know I played several instruments for YEARS, sang in choirs and danced, My life pretty much revolved around music. However I did not really listen to much music on the day to day. I often felt lame/out of touch because when I was young I did not really now much music. In sigh school I started listening to more music and now I do not listen to much music except the playlists of my favorites from Spotify/Pandora. As I have dug deeper into the word I have realized how often I am subconsciously singing music that really has no benefit. SO another challenge for myself for the rest of the summer whenever I personally listen to music it will be worship/praise music of some sort. I like the idea of subconsciously singing songs that praise God instead.

Dietary: Let me just say, Food is my favorite. It really is. I love eating and trying new foods, but so much of what I eat is really not good for me! One of my favorite YouTubers said it in a very clever way, but basically its almost ridiculous to ask God to bless the food were eating when it is terrible for you. In context it was hilarious but if you think about it its ridiculous. So my goal for this month is to cut out ALL processed foods this month. I know it sounds crazy, but I eat a lot of processed foods. And  I also have several (self diagnosed but I am going to an allergist this summer) food sensitivities especially gluten so I am including anything with gluten in it as well in my “processed foods” ban. So the spiritual component of this goal is taking better care of my temple.

Exercise: I have been searching for the past several years (since I graduated high school really) for another form of exercise that I love as much as I loved (and still love) dance. I have tried running and workout videos and nothing has really stuck. But I have recently become interested in Biking, and since I have a bike I figured it would be an easy and fun way to start exercising. So my goal for July is to bike at lease twice a week for 30-60 min each. Its a pretty simple goal which I am determined to meet.

What are your goals for July? Comment in the description and tell me!

Be Blessed,

Jewelle