The Struggle is Real

Hey all! Today am going to be telling you all about the last 6 months. As the title describes it has been “the struggle” both financially and mentally. I have had to really place God at the center of it all, and without Him I would not have made it to where I am now.

As of this January, due to financial issues that I won’t go to into detail about, I am currently taking off a year and a half off school to work so I can go back to school next fall. Now it’s actually very simple to just say, but the devistation that I went through this past year will be better understood if I go back and explain some of my life goals and struggles.

Growing up I did a lot of things I danced, played piano, sang and of course I went to school. While I was not bad at anything, the one thing that I could say definitively was “I am good a school.” I am very type A and I enjoy reading/studying/learning. And since there is no other interpretation of grades then what is in front of you it was a constant for me. In high school and I started stressing out about my grades, getting into college, and becoming a nurse as I feel called to. This stress led to me having anxiety about classes and having about 1 panic attack/semester about a project, test, or assignment. Through college I struggled with ways to cope and by the end of freshman year I learned that by planning out EVERYTHING I could relieve a lot of stress for myself and even trick myself into not procrastinating. I spent most the time I wasn’t at work studying or doing homework. I coped by trying to know everything and not letting anything slip through the cracks. I held myself to a very high standard and did not allow much time for relaxing during the school year. I did not think about where my identity was because I was pursuing my calling but I was consumed with my one goal and forgot to enjoy the journey there.

When I moved to Richmond and got involved in community here I realized that making time for friends is just as important as making time for my faith. I also realized how interconnected the two can be when in a Christian community. This past fall I was the most involved in a Christian community I have ever been, and my faith has grown immensely. While I still planned out my time (which for me is very relaxing) in my schedule I made time for friends, and community a priority. Despite the growth and community my world shattered when I found out I could not go back to school. I lost the one thing that I have ever been able to confidently say I was good at, and I was lost in where my identity was. The only thing that was sure in my life was God, my family, and my community in Chi Alpha.

I came back to Richmond this spring and my parents blessed me by agreeing to give me 3 months to find a job so I can stay in Richmond permanently. For 2 and a half months I searched and searched all the while making sure I was always in community by helping with set up for large group or any events we had, tabling and doing Discipleship group. I found nothing, I had many interviews none of which resulted in a job and all the while I was stubbornly holding on to staying in RVA because that is what I wanted. As time went on I realized that I may be going home and I cried and prayed and eventually accepted the possibility. I called old jobs from back home, thought about bible studies I would start so I could continue to grow in Christ and made plans for going home. While I still wanted to stay in Richmond I was finally at peace with whatever God had for me.

In mid February I went to Winter retreat (a Christian weekend retreat) and spent time in the prayer room. I asked God to give me peace about my situation, for a job, and for direction in where I was supposed to be right now. In the weeks leading up to retreat I had be praying and accepting that I may be going home and trusting God despite that. At retreat I recieved an answer about where I am called to be. Holy Spirit put on my heart that I am supposed to be in Richmond, and let me tell you I was thrilled. Despite having no job and little to no prospects, in that moment I experienced so much peace and joy about staying, and I trusted that God would work it out.

It was March, my final month and I had not found a job. I was preparing to move home mentally while still trusting that God put me here and called me here so it will work out. It was a funny balance of practicality and faith that could easily be mistaken as denial. I didn’t find a job until 1 week before I was supposed to go home. It was 2 days before I left for a missions trip and in those 2 days I was hired for 2 jobs. It was the miracle I was looking for and I am grateful for my jobs every day. 

The past six months have been the biggest financial struggle I have experienced in my short 20 years of life. Several situations were dropped in my lab that I truly was not prepared for, but in this time I have been able to find out what it truly means to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. I did not know how I was staying in richmond, just that I was. I am coming and sharing this from a point of gratefulness and because I hope my testimony can be used to encourage others, and provid a glimpse of the amazing power of Jesus Christ in every day circumstances. Faith in God is not in vain.

God Bless,

Jewelle

Why I am Picky 

Entry 2 of my dating type post takes a look at dating from another perspective.

Let me start this off with a disclaimer: These are my beliefs and convictions and while I do not intend to force them on others I do believe they are biblically rooted. Where I am convicted you may not be and that is fine but that does not discount the validity of my words.

When I think of how I want my relationships to work now vs how I thought of them when I was 16 the two pictures are drastically different, and I am glad I did not date anyone. At 16 my standard was pretty basic my boyfriend would have to love God which is good but over the years my standard of “Loving God” has grown as I have. I have 3 major criteria that I require to consider someone as a potential boyfriend, let’s call him Mr X for clarity

1. He Must Love God

Again, my definition of loving God is different now because of growth in my faith. When I say love of God now I mean desperately wanting to know more about Him and chasing after God. And that is a very different picture than my 16 year old standard. I still have a ways to go to get where I want to be in my faith but I am pressing on and my pace is increasing with every step I take towards God. If Mr X isn’t chasing God with his whole heart and is not fully in love with our creator than I can not entertain a relationship because anything less than devotion only provides a distraction which is not what I am looking for.

2. He has to notice me

This may seem like a weird one but this particular trait is specifically for me. When I say “notice” i mean beyond the initial attraction. I have a tendency to be lost in big crowds. It is the introvert in me that thrives in smaller groups of people that I know really well. In friendships this is something I have come to expect because those that are truly my friends know this is important to me. Growing up I was often ignored or forgotten by so-called “friends” and as an adult I do not tolerate that in friendships any longer. Even more so in a relationship I expect that Mr X will notice me whether it is little things like when I speak or when I withdraw due to being overlooked by others in crowds. I want to be noticed by my significant other.
3. His Calling must not conflict with mine

Finally his calling must not conflict with mine. When I get married I am trusting a man with my respect meaning his calling becomes mine. If our futures do not align that could mean me not doing what God is calling me to. I feel very strongly called to missions and I do not know if it is long-term or short-term, part-time or full-time but I am called. I will not compromise that for anyone. Now Mr X’s goals may help determine some of my uncertainties in the nature of my future missions, but wherever God calls me Mr X will not conflict with it.

So yea, I am picky but that is not necessarily a bad thing, and if you notice I did not mention attractiveness. I’m not going to lie and say being attracted to my Mr X is not important to me. It is, but as far as my list goes it is not in the top 3. I believe the things listed above will help me focus on what is truly important in a relationship, and maintain the priorities that God has given me.

To clarify these further I am not expecting anyone to be perfect, wherever you are in your journey with Jesus as long as you are picking up momentum that is what is important. My goals and callings as it stands now are pretty flexible and I don’t know if I am destined for full-time missions. But these are my “Pre-decisions” for my future spouse.

Are you picky? What are your top 3 must be’s for your Mr or Mrs X?

Jewelle

World Missions Summit 2017; Day 3

This is super late (like several 4 months) but procrastination is something I am working on… So with that here is what my last day was like:

By the third morning we had a system down for getting up, getting breakfast and getting seats! The first session as always was at 9 am and we had again an amazing worship and some more free time to look at the experiences and exhibits. The final message was a prophetic word over the 6,000 young people that attended stating that as a generation we are incredibly compassionate, while still making a stand. We are also incredibly mobile and willing to go out into the world and share. This is 4 months later and while I have then notes. I don’t completely remember every moment of WMS 2017. But what I do remember is the calling God has placed on my life. I truly believe God has called me to missions. I don’t know how long, but I know that whenever I can I will do my very best to share God’s love with people in other countries. This was an incredible blessing and I am so grateful I was able to attend.

Hopefully this post encouraged you and helped you to see God and his glory a little more fully.

If you missed Part 1 or Part 2 of this series don’t forget to check them out!

Blessings

Jewelle

The World Missions Summit 2017; Day 2

The Gathering 2

It was bright and early at 9 am after the welcome banquet (which ended at 11:30 the night before). I woke up around 7:50 because the doors opened at 8:15 and I needed to help reserve seats for our group. The woman who gave the message was amazing! She spoke about how God put the Thai people on her heart and really brought to life the interaction of the spiritual and natural realms. On of my favorite things she said was”Prayer is not passive it is active and agressive.” Which is so true. We can only access the authority of Jesus is through prayer, she also spoke about fasting which I really want and need to study further.

The second person who spoke was Pete Bullette who directs Chi Alpha at UVA. Hismessage was so powerful, his emphasis was either your going or you’re helping someone else go. He used an analogy that absolutely LOVE. He described missions as a rope and something to be lowered. The missionary is supported by the rope (Finantial supporters), and without it the missionary cannot go anywhere. I was really convicted to support some sort of missions and I will be deciding at the end of this month where I want to give. He said that if you can’t give now with a little than you won’t be able to give when you have a lot. Giving needs to be a priority in your lives because missions is a priority to God.

Meal with a Missionary 1:

This was super cool we got to eat with a woman who is going to be leaving with her husband and 3 children to Thailand for 3 years. She will be homeschooling her kids which is super cool and they are going to be working toestablish a church there. You can read more about them and ways you can support them (if you feel led) at their website: marketplacetothemissionfield.com.

Other Sessions:

International ministries  (IM)

This was a really cool session. We heard about 10 different international ministries that use several different ministries to reach unreached people groups. There were a lot but they said in the begining that we would only really be able to talk to about 4 so I picked my top 4 and went in search of them. I spoke with Jacobs Hope, Compassion Link, and Network 211. Allof which were AMAZING global ministries that worked indifferent ways with different focus’.

The first organization I spoke with was Jacobs Hope, theor goal is to reach out to Jewish people and share the rest of the story. They have the first half but they’re missing the key part that saves.Jesus is God’s son who became a man and is one with the Father. The second group I spoke with was Compassion Link medical group that essentially does medical missions globally. I got to speak with a Dr. and I spoke with  and she told me about how she takes nursing students, pre-med student, pre-dent students etc to go to different countries andhelp. This really spoke to me because my heart is for children  and I would love to use my degree to further God’s kingdom. The last group I spoke with was Network 211 an amazing organization that reaches so many hurting people online every day iN at leat 8 languages. They are an amazing resourceful sharing with new christians and I will be using it in the future! They are also starting up another website called The Warriors Journey for US Military (both active and veterans).

I went to 2 other sessions which where a support raising workshop and “The Eurasia Exsperience” bother were super interesting and eye openjng. Our last meal with the missionary for the day was with the man who had just spoken in the experience, I got to learn about him and his family more and learn details that he didn’t say in the experience.

The Gathering #3:

This message by Scott and Crystal Martin emphasized the priority God puts on spreading the gospel. They said how it is impossible to reach all of Asia and Europe without students going  and doing. It was super convicting and I felt an even greater call to serve. It was a super emotional night in which many people (including me) felt called to missions, but that will be another post!

Afterwards our XA group hung out and ate pizza before going to bed around 1 am… again.

Another great day and Day 3 was just as amazing!

Blessings!

Jewelle

World Missions Summit 2017; Day 1

It is 1 am in Houston but I just wanted to tell you all about my first day at WMS! Out of respect for the missionaries I will not be giving any names or descriptions of people because in sensitive nations it could make their already dangerous lives even more so.

How I got there:

So I made it! First flight (since I was like 2 years old) so there were some challenges. But that’s ok. I missed my flight (5:15am) but I was able to say bye to both of my parents and I got on another flight 30 minutes later (to Philly) so no biggie. I was a little scared (aka completely freaking out) at take off because it was a small (and I mean SMALL) but it was smooth for the takeoff and the landing. My layover was about 2 hours so I caught a 2 hr nap before I got in my 2nd flight to Houston. That flight was longer so I was able to sleep another 2 hours or so. After arriving in Houston around noon was able to get on the shuttle and go to my hotel pretty easily.

TWMS:

So I checked in and got my stuff at like 2:30 and let me tell you they spoiled us!!! We got a lanyard with our name and schedule, a handmade messenger bag (made by people who were rescued from sex trafficking), a GORGEOUS journal with spaces and prompts for all of the sermons, a pen and several pamplets. Afterwards I went into the exibit hall with friends and then we got lunch. Afterwards I chilled in my room for a while and then went back to the exists to look around more.  I was able to talk to missionaries from Eurasia and Europe. My favorite was talking with a girl who works in India and another lady who lives there with her family  (her husband and children). I got a lot of valuable information (which I will talk about in another post) and in am very interested in missions there in the future.

The Gathering:

The first sermon was amazing! Worship is always wonderful but the sermon was awesome! A man spoke about his experiences being a missionary, to India of all places,and how difficult in the twas but how needed it is as well. In India less than 1/3 of the population will ever hear about Jesus. Northern India is worse than southern India (where Thomas went if I remember correctly) and Hinduism is the main,if not only, religion in many places. The more he spoke the more I felt convicted that God might want to send me there. That is definately going on my prayer list especially for consecration. It was so wonderful though, I am NOT a cryer,at all. Anyone who knows me will back me up on that but I do not think I have cried (actual tears not just tearing up) in a long time. It was a very heavy feeling but it was poseful and heavy in a good way. I got some information about possiblemissions to India both short term and long term so I will be looking into that more and speaking with the contacts I got.

I can not wait for the next couple days I am so excited to see what God has to say to me further! I hope this is fairly clear like said it’s 1am here and I am half asleep lol.

God Bless, and Good night!

Jewelle

2017 Goals, Trips, and Growth

Happy New Year!

I hope your new year was amazing and safe! I really enjoyed spending time with my family and just relaxing. As I said in my last post this year is going to be so exciting! I am going on 3 or 4 trips and potentially staying in the city over the summer. I have so many goals for personal and spiritual growth etc so this post will be a bit lengthy. Please bear with me theres just so much I have to say!

This year my top goal is to further explore God’s word and get even better with my devotionals. I really improved in the regularity of my devotions in 2016 and I want to continue on that path in 2017. I have really enjoyed the stregnthening of my relationship with God and how through that I have been able to develop better relationships with others. I want to read the book: Celebration of discipline by Richard Foster, it explores different topics that I am interested in and I want to delve into one chapter a month. I also plan to read the bible this year all the way through. I am doing a plan on YouVersion and I am actually sticking to it! My other goal is to pray about every decision I make. I often make decisions without really praying about it beforehand. It has worked out thus far but it is not a habit I would like to continue. I want to focus my eyes on God more, so one big way I plan to do so is pray (and fast in some cases) before deciding and truly seeking God’s will in everything.

In January my home church has a month of consecration, and my Chi Alpha (XA; the ministry I am a part of at school) church does Lent (which is the 40 days leading up to Easter). I have never done Lent (since my home church does January consecration) but I plan to do both this year! For each I plan to incorporate fasting, I have been really interested in it and I would like to see how God can work further in my life through fasting. Last year I gave up meals before 11am, but his year I think I will give a specific day a week to fasting. 

So finally the “exciting things” I hinted at in my last blog! I am going to Houston, Texas, and Mexico this year! Every 4 years Chi Alpha has a national conference about missions and it is happening in Houston, Texas this time! I will be flying out and attending the 3 day conference. I am so excited, there will be missionaries from all over the world and seminars and we will get to hear several missionaries stories. I have been feeling a pull towards missions (especially this semester since that was one of the big focus’ at XA) I have always had that in the back of my mind but it just became much more real this year. Mexico is happening over spring break and I can not be more excited to help the people there. We will be working with young adults there and also helping a church with whatever they need. I am still fundraising for it but I trust that God will provide the funds I need to get there:) The other trips I will be taking are much shorter, one will be our XA Winter Retreat (a weekend trip), and then hopefully I will be able to do SICM (a week long trip) a leadership retreat that happens every summer for XA leaders/potential leaders. I am praying about whether God wants me to apply to be a leader in XA for next year, I would really like to but I want to make sure it is something God truly wants me to do.

So that is going to be my jam packed 2017!! And that is just spiritual goals! I will make a separate post about other goals but the main priorities are here.

I hope you have considered how you want to grow closer to God this coming year, I would love to hear about it! Please comment below and tell me about your spiritual and other goals!

God Bless, and Happy New Year!

Jewelle

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas all! I know, I know, it has been a long time since I posted but in my defense it seems like yesterday when I sat down and wrote my last blog. Although my devo posts stopped my personal devotions I assure you did not. This semester has been a great season of spiritual growth for me. So many exciting things are happening that I am going to have to have a separate post for them all! I really took time to focus and give time to people who really matter. Friends and family. For me my friends at school are my family. I have been able to connect with my roommates and strengthen relationships with my small group leaders who are AMAZING, and have been a tremendous blessing in my life. So I am sorry that I haven’t posted this semester but I am not sorry about the time I put into the wonderful people around me. That being said plan to do better this semester. My starting goal is 1 post every 2 weeks, and also I will finish typing up the Proverbs 31 series don’t worry I haven’t forgotten.

I always love the New Year, it means lots of things; seeing family; re-evaluated goals; and consecration which I my favorite time of the year (I will expound more later).  I am still trying to identify my goals specifically but generally I want to improve my devotional life further, simplify my life, and keep up with my blog. I hope all of my readers enjoyed this update, I heard from a reliable source that my posts were missed 😉 I missed posting and I will make a bigger effort to prioritize it this coming year!

God Bless! Merry Christmas!!

 

Digging Deeper Part 6 She is Compassionate

Proverbs 31:20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.

Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

We are to be compassionate towards other, especially those who are less fortunate than us. We are to apply the “Golden Rule” in our daily life (Matthew 7:12) and just be kind! Kindness it the display of God’s love for others in your actions. We are to forgive willingly as Christ forgave us (Eph 4:32). We are to show others godly love, and since God is love (1 John 4:8) God defines it (you can do that when you create something 😉 and that means that we must be loving enough to tell people the truth. If something goes against the word of God it is not loving to encourage or condone it. It is difficult sometimes when it is friends but in my experience it is better to make your feelings and points clear and leave it at that. Only God can convict them about it, all you can do is speak the word of God. In some cases you can continue on with are friendship with little changed and in some drastic situations the friendship must end. Praise God, I have never had to get to that point but it is something we must be willing to do if necessary for Christ. We are to be merciful and patient with all again especially the less fortunate. The proverbs 31 woman is always looking for ways to help others.

        Another aspect of compassion is not being quarrellsome (contentious, argumenative).

Digging Deeper Part 5 She Takes Care of Her Temple

Proverbs 31:17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.

Proverbs 31:22 She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.

These verses tell me that she takes care of herself inside and out. Outwardly she adorns herself with beautiful garments she has made and inwardly she “makes herself strong.” That can be seen 2 ways (1) she makes herself strong through taking care of her physical body,  and(2) through the renewal of your mind in God’s word. I thing it is a bit of both.

According to 1 Cor 6:19-20 Our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. So we are not only taking care of ourselves we are also taking care of where God LIVES in us. This should make us serious about caring for our temple if not for our own sake but simply out of respect for the Holy Spirit. I believe that an important part of caring for your temple is in what your eat and drink. Eating well is the best way to keep your temple (body) healthy and strong. We are also to dress with respect, modesty, and self-control (1 Tim 2:9-10). We are to show ourselves as humble servants of Christ. Presenting ourselves (and our body) as living sacrifices (Rom 12:1-2) in a way that glorifies God. This is a form of worship to God.That is how important it is God considers our presentation of our bodies as a living sacrifice (or being humble) worship. This requires the continual renewing of our minds through reading God’s word daily. To glorify God is our purpose in having earthly bodies (Phil 1:20), and we must be careful in what we do speak and say.

 

 

Digging Deeper Part 4 Dilligent

Proverbs 31:15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.

Proverbs 31:18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable Her lamp does not go out at night.

Proverbs 31:27 Sh looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

So far we have seen that this woman doe not complain, and she is good with money. Today we see her diligence in taking care of those God has placed in her life. To me diligence is pretty simple to understand but difficult to apply so this post will be short.

As followers of Christ we are to “be steadfast, immovable, and always abounding in the work of the Lord” (1 Cor 15:58). We are to be constantly in pursuit of godliness. We are to do everything as unto the Lord (Col 3:23-24). Always actively pursing righteousness. We are NOT by any means saved though works, Ephesians 2:8-9 makes that very clear. However true faith brings about works for “faith without works is dead” (James 2:20).  We must be persistent in striving to please God. We show our love for God though obeying his word (1John 5:3).

This was a very short devotion I know but my personal devotion on this was not long either. Most of these sections take me several days to cover all of the verses, this one took only one day. So the next one should be longer! I hope this short devotion has given you insight into the character of God.

Are you diligent in your pursuit of Christ? Where do you need to work? Leave me comment about it!

Be Blessed!

Jewelle