Entry 2 of my dating type post takes a look at dating from another perspective.
Let me start this off with a disclaimer: These are my beliefs and convictions and while I do not intend to force them on others I do believe they are biblically rooted. Where I am convicted you may not be and that is fine but that does not discount the validity of my words.
When I think of how I want my relationships to work now vs how I thought of them when I was 16 the two pictures are drastically different, and I am glad I did not date anyone. At 16 my standard was pretty basic my boyfriend would have to love God which is good but over the years my standard of “Loving God” has grown as I have. I have 3 major criteria that I require to consider someone as a potential boyfriend, let’s call him Mr X for clarity
1. He Must Love God
Again, my definition of loving God is different now because of growth in my faith. When I say love of God now I mean desperately wanting to know more about Him and chasing after God. And that is a very different picture than my 16 year old standard. I still have a ways to go to get where I want to be in my faith but I am pressing on and my pace is increasing with every step I take towards God. If Mr X isn’t chasing God with his whole heart and is not fully in love with our creator than I can not entertain a relationship because anything less than devotion only provides a distraction which is not what I am looking for.
2. He has to notice me
This may seem like a weird one but this particular trait is specifically for me. When I say “notice” i mean beyond the initial attraction. I have a tendency to be lost in big crowds. It is the introvert in me that thrives in smaller groups of people that I know really well. In friendships this is something I have come to expect because those that are truly my friends know this is important to me. Growing up I was often ignored or forgotten by so-called “friends” and as an adult I do not tolerate that in friendships any longer. Even more so in a relationship I expect that Mr X will notice me whether it is little things like when I speak or when I withdraw due to being overlooked by others in crowds. I want to be noticed by my significant other.
3. His Calling must not conflict with mine
Finally his calling must not conflict with mine. When I get married I am trusting a man with my respect meaning his calling becomes mine. If our futures do not align that could mean me not doing what God is calling me to. I feel very strongly called to missions and I do not know if it is long-term or short-term, part-time or full-time but I am called. I will not compromise that for anyone. Now Mr X’s goals may help determine some of my uncertainties in the nature of my future missions, but wherever God calls me Mr X will not conflict with it.
So yea, I am picky but that is not necessarily a bad thing, and if you notice I did not mention attractiveness. I’m not going to lie and say being attracted to my Mr X is not important to me. It is, but as far as my list goes it is not in the top 3. I believe the things listed above will help me focus on what is truly important in a relationship, and maintain the priorities that God has given me.
To clarify these further I am not expecting anyone to be perfect, wherever you are in your journey with Jesus as long as you are picking up momentum that is what is important. My goals and callings as it stands now are pretty flexible and I don’t know if I am destined for full-time missions. But these are my “Pre-decisions” for my future spouse.
Are you picky? What are your top 3 must be’s for your Mr or Mrs X?
Jewelle
Young But Faithful 